Employment Center

Drivers:
Compare Companies
Employers:
Register your Company

Username

Password

Forget your password?
Need to register?

Dear Ellen,

I have been having a difficult time adjusting to being away from my husband who is an over the road driver.  I know that he loves me and that he’s working hard to earn a living so that I can stay home, but I just can’t seem to handle the loneliness.

We have discussed the idea of having him quit his long distance trucking career, which he loves, to take a job in a nearby factory.  He isn’t happy with the thought of working inside a building with a boss looking over his shoulder, but he said he would make the change for me if I insist.

I feel torn between asking him to take the factory job, and having to deal with the empty days and lonely nights.

How can I make this difficult decision?

Patty

Dear Patty,

First, why should it be your decision whether he changes careers or not?  He is the one who spends the better part of his day earning a living for both of you.  The decision should be a joint one, and should be made after looking at all of your options.

Secondly, if your husband enjoys what he is doing, you will be forcing him to choose between a job that he loves, and one that you admit will force him to work in an environment where he won’t be happy.  

Nineteenth century author, Elbert Hubbard once said, “Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is.”

Why would you want him to spend eight or more hours each day at a factory job if he doesn’t want to work indoors, and doesn’t want constant supervision?

Would he earn less money if he took the factory job?  Could you afford to live on a lower income? Would you be there to make him feel better when he gets home at night, but he’s miserable from spending the day at a place he loathes?  

Patty, if you want your husband to be happy, and he enjoys being an over the road driver, then don’t ask him to change careers because you are having a hard time adjusting to the time apart.  It will only make both of you unhappy when he complains about his job. In fact, he will probably place the blame for his unhappiness on you, either intentionally or not.  

Each day as he drives to work, he will think about the open road that he left behind and he will consider the factory job to be a sacrifice that he made for you.  There will be days that he will be especially torn between his commitment to you and his wish to return to a job that he enjoyed.  Do you really want to be the reason behind his discontent?

Instead of making him change his life for you, how could you change yours so that both of you are happy with your relationship? Instead of focusing on the time you are apart from each other, spend your time planning ways to make the short time together more enjoyable.  

You can make him understand that you do appreciate the hard work he does so that you both can enjoy the result of his efforts.  When he’s home let him relax and spend quality time alone with you.  Don’t make him feel guilty because he’s enjoying his life on the road.

Then, when he’s away, try to fill your days with activities that you enjoy.  If you have a career of your own, you know what it’s like to spend time in a job that makes you happy.  If you are able to stay home and take care of your household, then find challenges that will keep you motivated and stimulated.  

You’ll find that you won’t concentrate so much on being lonely, but you’ll be even more enthused to share your excitement with your husband when he is off the road.

Elbert Hubbard understood that our work can affect our happiness, and when we are doing a job that we enjoy, our lives will be more pleasing, for ourselves and those who we love.